


i promise that i'll love you for the rest of my life

by callumsmitchells



Category: EastEnders
Genre: Deaf Character, Fluff, M/M, ben gets a cochlear implant, pls let this actually happen thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells
Summary: Ben gets a cochlear implant, but he has one request for Callum before that happens.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

Callum shrugged off his suit and tie, throwing them onto Ben’s bed. It wasn’t made. Ben, unusually so, was the type of person that wouldn’t be able to go about his day to day life if he hadn’t started the morning by making the bed after he’d had breakfast. It had become a routine for them. Callum would make their breakfast, no matter where they were, hand it to Ben with a kiss on his cheek, and they’d eat it whilst talking about their upcoming day, making plans to meet that evening in the Vic, or deciding to go on an impromptu date night. Then Callum would put the dishes and mugs into the dishwasher, and by the time he would walk into their bedroom, Ben would be making the bed. This morning was different, and it had been since the boat accident. Callum would still make them breakfast, they would still eat together, but Ben didn’t have the usual smile on his face as he spoke to Callum about their plans. He would talk Callum out of going to the pub that night, instead suggesting they have a cosy night in with a movie and pizza. Callum would clean up after them, and Ben would mutter a quiet “I’m going back to bed”, and would quickly turn away so Callum couldn’t speak to argue. 

  
“D’you mind?” Ben moaned, lifting the quilt from over his face, facing Callum now. 

  
“Don’t tell me you’ve been in bed all day.” Callum commented, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. “Ben, what is going on in that head of yours?”

  
Ben did nothing but shrugged, scowling his face up as if he didn’t care to answer. Callum reached his hand out and played with the hair behind Ben’s ear, a comforting action that had become all the more apparent lately. Ben had told him once that it calmed him down from noticing the insistent ringing in his ears, and that spurred Callum on more. Callum leaned his body down, laying next to Ben. He pressed a soft kiss to Ben’s cheek, lingering there for a tad longer than usual, feeling the need to show Ben that he is loved. 

  
“Get frustrated.” Ben spoke, breaking the silence that had overcome them. He couldn’t hear himself, but could feel his throat vibrating, and was worried that he was shouting. “I hate it. I hate myself.” Tears fell from his eyes as he rolled his body towards Callum, craving his touch. It was the only thing he knew that would calm him down, feeling Callum’s warm skin on his, letting him know that they’re both still there. 

  
Callum hooked a finger under Ben’s chin, lifting it up so Ben knew to look at his lips. “I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere. Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  
Ben snorts out a laugh, and presses his face to Callum’s chest, pouting his lips and kissing Callum’s body. “I just hate not being able to hear anyone. You, Lex. I even miss mum shouting at me when I annoy her.” Both of them chuckled at that, their bodies shaking together. “Sometimes I don’t understand what people say to me. They talk too fast, or words look the same. And then my eyes start hurting and then I give up. I’m sick of it, Cal, I just want it to all go away.” 

  
Callum tightens his grip on Ben, kissing the top of his head to comfort him, breathing in his scent of pine cones and mint. He loosens the grip temporarily, and Ben takes that as a hint to look up to Callum’s face. They had gotten so good at silently communicating with eyes and touches and looks, it was slightly terrifying. “We’ll get through this.” Callum smiled. “We need to stay positive about the operation babe. We can talk to specialists, to people who’ve been in your position. Me and you, we can do anything that you need. I will be there through everything. By your side. For forever and a day.”

  
Callum presses his hand to Ben’s chest, feeling the _thump thump thump_ of his heart. With a finger, he traced and ‘I love you’, something that he’d picked up, their own mode of communication for when they were alone. Ben smiled for a moment, before putting his hand to Callum’s and shaking his head. “Say it. I want you to say it.”

  
The younger man reached up and traced Callum’s lips gently as he spoke. “I love you, Ben Mitchell, with all my heart and with everything in me. I love you.”

  
Ben smiled, and closed his eyes for a moment. “That’s what I want to hear the most. That you love me.” 

  
He felt a pressure to his chin, a thumb rubbing against it as a finger hooked underneath his chin once more. Ben’s eyes opened, looking straight at Callum. His eyes were filled with tears threatening to pour out, and Ben just wanted to comfort him. Callum spoke again. “I’ll tell you it every single day for the rest of my life.”

  
Callum wrapped his arms around Ben, engulfing him in a warm and loving embrace that the two of them needed more than ever before. Ben, overcome with emotions after finally opening up about everything that was troubling him, breathed out a sigh attached to Callum’s neck, muttering a soft, “Thank you. For everything.”

  
Callum squeezed Ben that little bit tighter, and comfortingly stroked his hair as tears started to fall down Callum’s cheeks. 


	2. Chapter 2

It had been months of meetings and appointments, all leading up to the date circled with a heart on their calendar. The date that Ben would have his operation. It wouldn’t be a quick fix. He wouldn’t be going into hospital deaf and coming out being able to hear instantly. Ben knew that. They both did. Alongside the meetings and appointments and the anticipation of the operation, Ben, and those important to him, were learning British Sign Language.

  
The doctors had already been around to Ben only a few short moments ago, to tell him that they were going to take him down to the surgery rooms in a moment. Anxiety flooded through him, his brain conceiving all the possible things that could possibly go wrong. He couldn’t afford for this to go wrong, he needed to be able to hear again, and would do anything to regain that sense even for just a moment. Callum’s hand reached out across the hospital bed, and squeezed Ben’s relaxingly. He rubbed his thumb in patterns of circles and whirls over Ben’s skin. 

  
“It’ll be fine.” Callum spoke, lifting their joined hands and pressing a kiss to Ben’s hand. “They’ve spoken through everything, they’ve done this operation thousands of times successfully. I’m right here. I’ll wait right here for you to get back.”

  
“I’m scared.” Ben gasped out. 

  
Callum stood up, knowing he needed to get closer to Ben. He kissed the top of Ben’s head, and then shifted so he was in Ben’s eye line. “I know you are darling. But just think about six weeks from now. How amazing that’ll feel.” 

  
Ben nodded, closing his eyes to stop tears from escaping.

  
The doctors soon came around again, and informed them that they can take Ben down now. Callum nodded in acceptance, and leaned down to kiss Ben. “You’re amazing.” He mouthed, leaving the moment for him and Ben only.

  
Ben grabbed Callum’s hand, spreading it out open, holding on to it for dear life. With his free hand, Ben traced ‘ _I love you’_ on his skin. Callum felt it burn, in every place that Ben had touched. It was on fire, as was Callum’s heart, that felt like it had flipped and grew double its size as he realised what Ben had said. 

  
Callum opened his mouth to speak, but Ben interrupted him before he could even produce a sound. 

  
“Don’t. Not yet.” Ben spoke, a soft smile looking up at his boyfriend. “I want it to be the first thing I hear in six weeks.” 

  
That shut Callum up. Not knowing what to say, overcome with love and adoration, he just nodded, and kissed Ben once more, watching as he was wheeled down the corridor and out of sight.

  
The operation went smoothly, and before long Ben was back in Callum’s sight. The next six weeks, however, went agonisingly slow. Ben was agitated, just wanting his implant to be activated. The date of his appointment was again circled with a heart, and each day that they got closer to it, the more anxiety shot through Ben. He couldn’t have gone through the pain of having to deal with his hearing loss, going back and forth over the option of an operation, for it to not have worked. The thought terrified him, having a solidified answer saying he will never hear a single thing again. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind each day and carried on, eventually getting to the day of the appointment. 

  
It was simple, really. The audiologist would activate the implant, and all Ben had to do was hear. Then they would work together to adjust the settings to make the quality of sound more comfortable for Ben. 

  
Callum squeezed his hand, letting him know that he’s there for him through it all. Regardless of what happens. 

  
The nurse activated the implant, and it was silent for a moment, everyone waiting with baited breath. Ben turned to Callum, and Callum just _knew_. 

  
“I love you more than anything in the world.” Callum said honestly, love in his heart and tears in his eyes. 

  
Ben burst into tears and dug his head into Callum’s chest, hearing his heartbeat for the first time in what seemed like years. 

  
“I love you too. I’m so sorry I didn’t say it sooner but I really do love you so much.” Ben sobbed. “I always have.”

  
Everything seemed right in the world. Finally, Ben could hear again. Finally, Ben had shared how he feels about Callum.

  
_Finally._


End file.
